A Wonderful Place

Tonight I am going to Upper Gagetown to my favourite place in the world.
I am so excited to go, yet there's a lot of stress and pressure surrounding the next few weeks as well.
I just pray that everything can work out in the end; that everything will run smoothly.
I want to get the most out of this weekend, and even though I won't have much time to immediatly reflect on it because of my week in Moncton, I feel like this is something I need right now. I need to reconnect and prioritize.
I also want to wish my football team good luck tomorrow at their game in Saint John. I don't have enough faith in my replacement sub, but I want her to do well.
I will see everyone in a week or so when I come back to Freddy. My grandparents will have arrived by then and I will hopefully have another job.
Pray for me this weekend guys.
Hannah.

School is over.
It's sad and happy, together.
This means I won't get to see my friends very often. It also means I (hopefully) won't be so stressed.
My managers at work aren't being very kind, and now I'm worried about what I'm going to do all summer.
Football is going well. I still screw up a ton, but it's getting better. My second game is tomorrow at Leo Hayes (4pm...you all should come out).

I really like this song...Dancing by Elisa. I can't find it online though, so if anyone has it that would be appreciated.

Hannah.

This type of year makes me super stressed out.
Being stressed makes me want to cry.
I actually get really nervous and anxious and not like myself this time of year.
I need to go not cry now. I have too much to do.
Hannah

Very Old Poem

This is an old poem I wrote a few years ago. I wanted to share it with you just to show myself how far I've come in the past couple years. Interpert however you wish.


Lies.
Not white ones,
ones that no one knows
the truth of.
You're not even sure what
the real thing is.
You've spent too much time
living lies.

Eventually I crack.
I can't take it.
I don't want to start over,
because I know I'll break.
I'd rather leave,
leave everything behind.
That way I would cause
no more anything.
I've confused, ruined and misguided
so many people and lives.
Not to mention my own.
There's no trust, no love, nothing.
I'm so alone, so far away,
yet so close and distanced.
This has to end.
Just pretend
there was no beginning
and don't remember me ever.
Again.

I'm so broken,
all confused.
No one's here to guide me.
I want someone else's shoes.
I need to heal the open wounds,
yet protect the mended scars.

I'm moving too fast.
I never liked waterfalls.
RUSH
Not fun, not even close,
they pull you under,
pretend you're having fun.
But then it all changes.
You can see, hear, feel.
But you're ending, collapsing.
It's all over.
You're at the bottom.
No one's holding you down.
But you just don't want to see.
You refuse to breathe.

Main stream was never my thing.
I was proud of little things, and
envious of larger ones.
I didn't want to be, or so they thought.
I had dreams.
Feelings too.
But you were too distraught.
Why should you care?
I'm just another tear
in this so un-perfect life.
We ignore things we don't want,
and excentuate the things we do.
Why be real?
Why be yourself?
You won't be accepted.
You're all alone.
How does it feel now?

Hide and jump.
Say you're sorry.
Believe in everything.
Feel and express.
Shout and whisper.
Be kind and rude.
Have willpower to give up easily.
Possibilities are limited.

Death is morbid.
Morbid is death.

What colour's your angel?