Sometimes I wish that I could be in heaven now. Just to be with them, the two that I miss the most. So it could be how I always wanted it. Perfect. Even though one of them is still alive, I miss you even more than if you were gone.

I need to start talking to God again. I think that's the only way this darkness has a chance of leaving for good. Sometimes I feel okay. Sometimes.

As long as I don't think about anything real, anything outside of what I have to do today, I can handle it.

Life is a lot to handle. And I haven't been doing so well. I wish you knew. And I wish you cared.

I still hope for the future. I still dream of us.
Nan, I dream and think about the great times we will have when we are together again.


Miss you two.