What Makes A Man Break When He's About to Die?

I'm so sick and tired of his yelling. When I think about memories of my dad, I don't remember the moments like everyone else. I remember pointless, ridiculous arguments that we fought. He has a bad, quick temper and yells a lot. I really don't want to have to have to deal with his shit anymore. Why should I have to go though this? I sure didn't ask to. Your father shouldn't make you cry and feel like shit on a weekly basis. (Actually, never.) The more I think about it, the more I don't want to live with him. I shouldn't have to do this. Why would I live with a man who constantly made his children and wife cry over absolutly nothing. Why are we putting up with this?

Time zones, microwaves, what are those in the big picture? Definatly nothing to haunt your children's memories with. Why does he turn jokes around and make them into screaming matches? Why does he always push you untill you crack and break into a million tiny pieces, impossible to repair? Why would he do that to his own family?
I'm done with this.

I'm so tired. I'm so stressed. Now this days-long headache is throbbing more than normal. Probably from yelling and crying, right? Why can't he just leave me alone?

It's like he needs this to survive. Like yelling and damaging other people is his oxygen.

Someone come and someone come and save my life.
Because I sure can't.

Third Time's The Charm

This is the third time I've filled this out...once per year.

A Year Ago, I:
1. Was in 11th grade
2. Was carefree. Mostly
3. Slipped. Again.
4. Played my first season of football
5. Decided to put myself through these uuber-stressful classes

Years Ago, I:
1. Never thought I would make it this far
2. Was oblivious
3. Moved away
4. Found music
5. Made decisions that are still haunting me

Yesterday I:
1. Had a day off
2. Did no schoolwork. (This was quite an achievement)
3. Got to eat real food again
4. Went out to lunch
5. Dropped off an application for a summer job

Today, I:
1. Ate a big breakfast
2. Plan on doing more homework that anyone should ever see
3. Got up early
4. Work at five
5. Will vacuum

Five Songs I Know All the Words To, Even Without the Music:
1. Made To Heal
2. The Alphabet Song
3. Yellow Brick Road
4. Body In A Box
5. Blessed Be The Name of The Lord

Five things I'd do With $100,000:
1. University
2. Sponcer a child
3. Guitar Lessons
4. The rest of my life's summers at Camp Medley
5. Calculus Tutor. x10

Five Songs You've been listening to Lately:
1. Weighty Ghost
2. All I Want Is You
3. Yellow Brick Road
4. Nowhere With You
5. Foundations

Top Five Locations I'd Like To Run Away To:
1. Moncton
2. Rugby Field
3. Friend's houses
4. Cronin's
5. Anywhere but here

Five details about you:
1. Music is Life
2. I push myself.
3. I am extremely realistic
4. I am a weird mix of shyness with huge spurts of outgoingness
5. I am always going to be younger. I've come to terms with it.

Five details about your appearance right now:
1. I am still in pjs
2. My hair is dirty
3. I am not wearing makeup
4. I should be in the shower.
5. I am not wearing socks

Five things that everyone should know about you:
1. I hate fish, but I'm learning to get over it.
2. I try. Don't expect too much.
3. I like to be alone, but I love being together too.
4. I have no tolerance for people who are rude.
5. I cannot stand burping. At all.

Five favorite movies:
1. JUNO
2. I Am Legend
3. The Pursuit of Happyness
4. Minority Report
5. Remember The Titans

Five things that make you happy:
1. Laughter
2. Camp Medley
3. Little Kids
4. Rugby
5. Music

April 14th, 2008

I have given up.

I don't quit.

But I have.

I can't put myself through all of this.
So I am attempting to end it civilly.
It's not going well.

I am ready for summer.
Except I have no job.
Yet.
If I don't manage to pull it all together ASAP, I may just go bury my head in the mud and not come out for years.


I'm not ready. I'm not done. I can't do this. I have too much to do. I need help.
I asked nicely at first.
Now I'm just ready to get out of here.

Psychology Class

This was a "gauge of our mental flexibility" we did in psyc class last week, and I loved it, so I thought I would share.

INSTRUCTIONS: Find the missing words.
EXAMPLE: 12=M. in a Y. Months In A Year

26=L. of the A.
7=W. of the W.
1001=A.N.
12= S. of the Z.
54=C. in the D. (with the J.)
9 (truly 8)=P. in the S.S.
88=P.K.
13=S. on the A.F.
18=H. on a G.C.
3=B.M. (S.H.T.R)
4=Q. in a G.
24=H. in a D.
57=H.V.
11=P. on a F.T.
1000=W. that a P. is W.
29=D. in a L. Y.
9=L. per C.
1000=L. U. the S.
100=Y. in a C.


I got ten in the 20 minutes allowed.
What about you?